Overload.

Posted by Amanda , Wednesday, April 28, 2010 10:39 PM

At the moment my mind is on major overload.

And I'm glad. I embrace the craziness of my brain. I enjoy using it.

So many things are happening right now. Challenging, character building things. Things that are blowing my mind. Things that are rattling my attitudes. Things that are changing me.

I've ventured off to yet another new home and my mind just doesn't know what to do with it. I've always been the type of person to have everything organized. I've always had plans, always needed control over the situations in my life. I love to live wild and free, but only within certain limitations. I think we all feel the same way in a sense.

Since I've been here, I've been considering freedom and what it really means.
I have my own apartment now, just bought a bike that will help me travel a lot easier, can make my own meals and, for the most part, do my own thing. Is that what freedom is? Living on your own, being able to do things your own way.

No...I don't really think so.

Today, I had this picture in my mind of people jumping into water. While I have done some adventurous things in my life, I tend to shy away pretty quickly from water adventures. I have many friends that embrace the water and jump into it full force whenever they are near it. Scott and Leslie, my outreach leaders, have a pool at their new home and I have watched their boys jump numerous times into the water. Letting go of all inhibitions. Throwing themselves into the wind. Falling, falling, falling. Breaking through the surface of the water. Plunging down deeper.

Freedom.

I'm not really sure what freedom is just yet. But I think that this time in Jaco will be a time to learn what it means to me. As I spend time with the kids in the River each day, I find the worries and anxieties of life are slowly melting away. I'm unthawing. Preparing myself for a change, an adventure. Preparing myself for freedom.

And then...

Spreading that freedom as far as it can take me.

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